Rambles from the mind

3 am.
Have to work at 11 am
Still no sleep
No intentions of it any time soon.
Why you ask?
Well thats a good question. You see... I dont have the answer.

My mind sometimes wanders into a far off place and I dont know if there is really a true way to describe it. Its like a million thougths all merge into one. a million hopes, a million dreams as well as a million fears. My life is uncertain, I've come to terms with that. and in truth that really does terrify me. But I cant let those fears eat me alive. I have to prevail over them. And thats exactly what I plan on doing. This NaNoWriMo is a start. I've always loved to write. But poetry was really the only thing I wrote for myself. My stories, some started but never finished... Almost all of them (with the exception of most of my fan fics) were for others. They were never just for me. Well since I've had my eyes opened these past couple months i've really sat down and started focusing on me. And, if Im being honest, Its probally the happiest I've felt in a very long time. Even this story (which is almost done) is just for me. I told someone who I thought I could trust and confide in a while back my idea and they shot it down. Well I'm doing it. My story is really coming alone. And I feel confident in it. I hope that when someone reads my story that they can see it too.

I'm able to put these fears away now, not completely, but Im able to feel proud agian. Proud of who I am, proud of who I can be. and most of all, Proud of what I can do.

me, I.

I will not lose to anyone or anything. I will live my life the best that I can. I will laugh, I will cry. I will be me.