Inner Demons

Its been a while.

A long while that stretched beyond its years even. A lot has happened since I've last written a blog. Some of it just way to personal to share with the world wide web. And some that maybe one day will seem minor in the grand scheme of things.

I'm not even sure where to start or how to. I feel like there is a part of me out there that I have to find again.

Lately I had an argument/fallout with a dear friend of mine. That really stung. I know the saying friends come and go. But I have just a handful of really close friends and to lose just one stings. And with that another follows. So it feels like my group just fell through, they've turned their backs. And I don't know when or if it'll ever smooth over again. With everything going on in my life I just feel lost. More now than ever. And I'm sure it'll ease up. Time heals all wounds. But right now, its just too fresh. And I'm afraid that if I hope for it to work out it wont. And I don't want to be the one to rub salt on the wound. I miss them and I hope things will work out deep down even if I wont admit it to everyone.

So I've shut myself up again. locked myself within myself.

Words are such a major part of life, they can heal wounds or open them. Start wars or end them. Even make a smile into a frown (or vice versa) and that's my outlet.

I'm sure I'll have some new poetry to add to the blog later because of it, and I know I am gearing up for NaNoWriMo (just around the corner!) but sometimes it just hard. Everyone has their hard days.

BUT

Its time to stop being so moody! (as I slap myself across the face)
NaNoWriMo is just around the corner! hopefully with school and work I will still be able to complete the full manuscript!

I think I can, after all I did last year and I had two jobs so its really not all that different. Except maybe school. School takes a lot more focus than it did last time for some reason... Not that I'm complaining cause I am doing really well!

I also have a girls weekend coming up with my mom. We're gonna take a nice extended weekend vacation just the two of us and I am really looking forward to that. some time away will help, and its long over due.

Oh!
I actually have some really happy news too!

well its really happy news for me anyway... I got a new camera!

A nice DSLR camera! (a cannon rebel T3 to be exact) not the crème de la crème but its a good start and its amazing. I've been out all the time with it lately, just experimenting with shots and seeing what this bad boy can do. Its great! I will have to (when my memory card isn't a whole floor below me) get some pictures up to show you!

well that's all for now. I will try to have another update in a few days!

Sleep peacefully
~T